Well, it's officially the

NEW YEAR.

Welcome 2009, so long 2008.

The past year has been challenging, beautiful, inspirational, painful, and perfect.

Looking back, I can honestly say I appreciate every experience I've had.

I have resolutions.. but I hesitate to list them here. Mostly because I want to do them for myself and no one else..

Mom, you know one of them.. keep asking how I'm doing with it!

I hope everyone had a wonderful New Years celebration.

Mine was peaceful and refreshing.

P.S. EVERYONE SEE WALL-E!

"Consciousness will always be one degree above comprehensibility."

- Gösta Carl Henrik Ehrensvärd

I've had this longing to write lately and when I sit down in front of my computer, or with pen in hand, it's just blank. My mind seems to be filled with more emotion than thought. I wish this werenn't the case..

My eye's see such beauty that I truly long to express.

Why do I want to do this so badly? Why do I torture myself, sitting here with such high expectations.

I suppose once I was inspired by something I read.

My impact on the environment has become incredibly dissatisfying. My life is a process of consuming and creating waste. It's incredibly disgusting. I long to contribute rather than deplete. I've ignored the call of the fields to live the way my body is designed for, it is both a pleasant awakening and a guilty realization.

What did the world look like before our beloved 'industrial revolution' or the oh so beneficial first and SECOND 'green revolution'! Even now I am left speechless with the world I see, how magnificent was it BEFORE our 'biological footprint' was so massive.

The vocabulary is just a distraction. I've in fact even heard fellow students say that in order to 'all come together' and make a true shift away from destruction, we must first construct a common language in order to discuss the situation. The language is already within us! Close your eyes and you will know what to do.

It's been so long since I've closed mine.

The answers are there, and they are waiting to be revealed.

We don't need to create anything more. We are only destroying anyways. Create time and you will be given a beautiful creation. And if we must create... use what we have, buy nothing more. Take advantage of those who don't want to change and receive their trash with open arms.

No more pavement is needed.

The momentum is likely not to significantly slow, but why allow that to be an excuse.

One day I will be gone and I know that my body will be happy to return to where it came from.

I just hope I'm not considered pollution.

I hope it's as easy as it feels..

I'm taking a Resource Conservation class. It's in the Biology Department so my text book is full of all sorts of fascinating plants and animals. The larger picture of the bright green Caterpillar I just happened to come across while I was searching for the Snake Caterpillar. Apparently the bright green one is called a Coconut Snake, although the photographer really wasn't very sure. The Snake Caterpillar though (the brown and black one) actually morphs in to a snake head when feeling threatened. Wow! I have always been fascinated by the various forms of life. Our perspective allows us to see such a limited picture of this world. Some animals see colors we don't see, and bats create their visual reality with sound! What is this place we call home? The intertangled chaos of order that surrounds us on a daily basis will continue to awe me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM
Here is a link of an 8 minute video we watched in my class this morning. It's one of those predator-prey animal documentary clips (which ordinarily I can't sit through) but this really is incredible. I think I might start getting into tree species too, we'll see how that goes. Right now I'm working on recognizing Post Oaks.

Get your hands on this.

Put it in your DVD player.

Sit down.

Experience it.

Let me know how it goes...

I've been trying to start pro-actively living my life lately. I went to a 'cardio dance' class the other day and spent an hour learning ballet. It was so wonderful.
I figure I'll make a list of ventures I'd like to accomplish in the next couple months. I'm going to put it here for a few reasons. One, so I can't pretend I never actually made this list. Two, because I think there is something special about being involved in one anther's lives to the point of challenging each other to be who we all know we can be.

Beautiful, Confident, Joyful, Loving, Peaceful, Adventuresome, Spiritual, Faithful, Trusting!

Sometimes we just get to busy, or to lonely, or to stressed, or to lost to stay on track. We should help each other stay on the path. The forest's can be dark and scary, let's not wander out there any more.

Here's what I'd like to do..
1.) Take more pictures (digital and Polaroid)
2.) Go to dance classes
3.) Go camping more than I did last year
4.) Keep my life more organized so I don't get so easily stressed
5.) Recycle
6.) Do laundry and vacuum more regularly
7.) Cook more often
8.) Learn more about the things I find intriguing and awe inspiring
9.) Go see Lillie in Nac (I need to keep my promise)
10.) Save money (I spend what I do make on silly things sometimes)
11.) PRAY MORE and therefore listen more.

Of course, this is by no means a complete list, just some of what I think about most.
I hope everyone is in the process of completing their list also. If you want any encouragement, let me know if I can help.
Keep walking fellow hikers.

There are so many lessons offered, as gifts, to us every day.

Verbal Written Experienced Perceived

I've tried to learn about Love, Integrity, Respect, Joy; and by the end of MY lesson plans I'm left with only a frustrated self, that is trudging through the muck.

I have been given work boots though,
and tools I can use to pull myself along. Every
once in awhile He even gives me something
more than perseverance,
He gives me Hope.

Here I am, back at home. More will be shared about my trip but that will have to come after quite a bit of picture editing and a decent amount of personal debriefing. For now, I leave you with this... I play around on this Internet program called Stumble which allows me to randomly surf the web based on my interest profile I filled out when I registered. I've come across all kinds of really incredible information. For example, the Brick Testament which is a project aimed at recreating common Bible stories using Lego's. It's actually extremely impressive! Obviously, this is one frame from the story of Adam and Eve. Not only can you see these stories online but you can buy hardback books! There is even a Christmas story edition which I imagine would make a pretty awesome Christmas present. That's all really, I just thought I would share something that made me smile, with the hope of making you smile.

Please, leave a comment of something that makes you smile.

We should really all start sharing smiles more often, I think maybe it could change the world.

Hello again. Sorry it's been so long since my last post! Sometimes when I come to the internet cafe the BlogSpot page won't open.
Here I am though, alive and well!
First off, I'd just like to say, that this place has been extremely challenging for me spiritually but I'm starting to feel live I'm coming out on the other side. I was (and still am) wading through some pretty heavy muck but I'm beginning to sense that even though I feel like I'm not getting any clear answers, at least I'm not alone.
I've been reading The Shack (thanks Emily) and it's has been challenging and freeing all at the same time!
Apart from my spiritual journey, which I feel has finally, truly began..I have been doing great in all other areas. I haven't gotten sick which I'm so thankful for and I still have everything I need. (Thanks mom for helping me be so prepared!)
This morning we spent a couple hours learning and practicing traditional cloth stamping and this afternoon was spent drumming and singing. The rhythms here are completely different from those I've grown accustomed to hearing so sometimes its difficult. When I finally get into the groove though its fascinating!
I'm really looking forward to this upcoming weekend. We will be going on a hike through the jungle in Cape Coast! I'll be sure to let you know how that goes.
I'm running low on minutes on the computer so I better run. Again thank you for all your support!
Also, leave comments because I love hearing from home when I get a chance to come to the internet cafe.
I hope all your lives are going well!

- Listen. Love. -

Hey everyone! I'm in Africa! It truly is a dream come true. This whole trip is full of up's-and-down's. The experiences I'm having here will forever change my perspective on so many aspects of my life. My days are full of drumming, dancing, singing, and language lessons. We have been to multiple festivals and ceremonies full of new colors, movements and sounds. I can now say that I've seen a real life cow sacrifice! The people here have been extremely friendly and so willing to answer my millions of questions about their lives and their culture. We are sleeping in small thatch huts with no electricity and two small beds with mosquito nets. (The net is a life saver!) It has been cloudy and raining since we've been here but thats because the rainy season is just now ending. Hopefully it will brighten up before we leave. All in all this trip has been packed full of new experiences that I don't think I will fully process until I get back home, have had a refreshing shower, and can just sit and think. Until then I'm going to just keep going, trying to write everything down and take as many pictures as I can. I hope you are all doing well and I can't wait to see you when I get back. If anyone has any questions about what I'm doing just post them on this entry. Thanks again for all your encouragement to follow my dreams!

I've just been thinking recently how much I'm inspired by my mother. Not only has she spent 21 years of her life working to provide me not only with the basic necessities but also with all the opportunities I could have ever needed, she has also been such an emotional foundation.

I'm not going to lie; in so many ways we are two completely different people. Despite our differences and all the challenges life has thrown at us, we have only grown together. I now consider her one of my Best Friends.

Whether I was crying in my closet, sharing the biggest secret of my life, or sitting next to her on the beaches of Cozumel, she has listened to me, supported me, encouraged me, pushed me, and above all.. she has truly loved me.

Thank You Mom,

you mean the world to me.

I Love You.

This whole blog thing is such a double edged sword. I despise that it'll only further submerge me in the cyber world but the truth is, I love photographs and I love staying connected to all the beautiful people I know

Amanda, who have shown me the joy of modern technology. I absolutely love your video blogs, even though they only make me long to spend good 'ole fashion time in your presence. (Oh, and let us not forget NetFlix!)

(Also, a side note to Jeremy.. Even though you long for me to remove myself from the computer, you continue to support me in all my endeavours. This is the beauty of 'us' and only part of why I love you. Thank You, truly.)

Thus, the beginning of my 'internet diary'.

My main desire is to use this as an exhibit for photography, a forum for discussion, and just simply a place to release a little creative tension. The photograph you see here, sadly, was not taken by me although by the end of the summer I hope to have rolls of my own.

This is the Kroo Bay slum. It is located just outside Freetown, the capital of Sierra Leone. There will by many more posts on this particular subject due to the fact that this little corner of the world has grabbed on to my heart. In August of this year, Jeremy and I will be traveling there with our good friend Lindsey Bengfort in order to become more established with the people and shoot a documentary (that'll be Jeremy's job). Our desire is to start a non-profit organization, The Kroo Bay Initiative, in order to raise the funds to build and run a school there.

This is one of the biggest on-takings of my life and I'm just so excited. If anyone is interesting in becoming apart of this initiative, please, contact me. There is always a role for you. As I said before, there will be more posts to come as this journey unfolds.

Thanks to anyone who told me to never give up. It's true, dreams really can come true.

Listen. Love.